be warned, this is going to be a long blog post. so many things have (rather unexpectedly for some) happened TODAY. gosh, talk about freaky coincidences (or not) - the past few days, while i've been busily reading breaking dawn, life itself has been rather mundane. and when i finished it, woah.

so, first things first
I FINISHED BREAKING DAWN! *sobs*
definitely earned itself a place on my "favourite books for life" list =]
the thing is, not many books leave me so saddened after i've finished reading them... the yearning for it to go on and on and on and never end. not many books portray characters so vivid and real that the reader becomes attached to them, and when the final words "the end" shows up on the last page, one just doesn't want to believe it.
DEPRESSING T_T
no more stories of bella and edward (and other ppl. i shall not spoil it for anyone, but GOSH I WANTED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ******!!! T_T. i'd become rather attached to her. she's too cute! =])
oh well. the sleep deprivation was definitely worth it xD
it's just amazing, really.. the way stephenie meyer portrays the growth of each character. absolutely amazing xD it's just.. wow. haha and it's just so real.
the twilight saga has DEFINITELY earned a very special place in my heart.
you know, i was thinking (forgive me, but EVERYONE has been comparing harry potter and the twilight saga) that one major difference between harry potter and twilight is that harry potter has a greater focus on storyline. it's, for lack of better word, much more story oriented, with a very complex web of stories and details (and it just occurred to me, LOTR series as well) to create a whole new world. in a way, it's a more... intellectual creation, with twists everywhere - always when you least expect it.
twilight, however, is so so so much more emotional. there is just so much emotional content - the story is wonderful as well, but it's more.. down to earth, and while there are twists and unexpected developments (the one in BD seriously took me by surprise. hah alice. love her =]) in comparison, it's much more straightforward. it's set in the normal human world, just slightly (understatement) different. but a very subtle and smooth incorporation, really, once you think about it.
and so, for me (i stress, for me and for me only. MY pov, not imposing upon anyone else, nor intending to make any hasty generalisations =P) when harry potter ends, i can let go. because it's mainly the story, and perhaps because it's already sooo long. but all stories HAVE to come to an end, and all along, it's been the story. and the story has finally come to a conclusion, as all stories do, and thus i feel satisfied (not empty and hollow) by the end of it. (or maybe i was just too young at the time to truly appreciate the growth of the characters. after all, i was 8 when i first picked up the first harry potter book xD)
but twilight, gosh, it plays with your emotions. and there's just so much more focus on the character and personalities of the characters. instead of being, this is a story where there are such-and-such characters, it's reversed, to become, these ARE the characters and this is their life. it's much simpler and so much more focused on the central characters.. and you begin to think that the characters really do exist. so by the end of the book, i'm like, "BUT THEY AREN'T DEAD YET! HOW CAN IT JUST END! THEY'RE STILL LIVING AND THEY STILL HAVE A LIFE AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM NEXT! T_T"

ok, so enough rambling about breaking dawn. SERIOUSLY, GO READ THE SERIES! (especially if you're a girl =] xD)

so, today, last period, maths teacher walks into the room carrying a stack of papers. *sudden hush falls over room*
and i went into shock. HOW ON EARTH DID THEY MARK THE PAPERS SO FAST! GOSH! T_T only did the test this monday, GOSH T_T
kind of like all the way back in sec 2 in NYGH, when we did the maths test and next day DC had the papers all marked and i was shocked as well.
anyway, i DID NOT want this maths test back because i thought i did so terrible in it and totally stuffed it. and i was so nervous and dreading it and mrs young started saying how the test was really hard but she was pleased with the results and everything. and then i got freaked out when she said the class average was 84. (THAT'S SO LOW! T_T) and she was smiling when she said that, because (our class is the top maths class) she said that in 10M2 the highest mark was 84. bleah. (but still, i'm proud of my class. 10M1 rocks! =])
and then she smiled even wider when she said that one person in the whole grade got above 90, and that she was really happy because she (and the other teacher who set the paper) didn't expect anyone to get above 90. zzzz. sadistic teachers.

so, anyway, she started giving out the papers. (didn't tell us who got above 90 yet)
then she called my name, and at that point i was still sort of clinging on to a shred of hope that i was the one who got above 90 (yes i know i'm ego. and i'm sad. yes yes i know, i shouldn't have been expecting it when i knew i totally stuffed the test. T_T)
and well, i was expecting her to go like, oh and elaine got above 9x. but she didn't. i was SO SADDENED can T_T so i got the paper, but i didn't look at the mark, and i went back to my seat feeling all depressed ><"
and then i was just sitting there waiting to find out who was the one who got 9x. but then, when like all the ppl i expected to get 9x went up and got their papers and she didn't say anything either, i was like... "what?!" and urgh, the papers were all given out and still she hadn't said anything.
because i was too depressed, i was all caught up in my own little world while around me everyone was busy exchanging marks and whispers and everything.
and then suddenly my friend poked me and hissed, "elaine, i bet you got 9x!"
me (still depressed), "no... T_T i told you i wouldn't get 9x! bet you it was david or nara or antonia"
my friend (confused), "huh? YOU DIDN'T GET 9x?! ARE YOU SURE?! then WHO GOT 9x! i asked like, practically everyone already!"
me (confused as well now), "really? *ticking off mental checklist* vicky? justin? jenny?"
throughout this convo, mrs young was busy writing out merits. while there was a growing uproar in the class because no one seemed to have gotten 9x. then mrs young (who FINALLY finished writing out the merits) went, all beaming, "elaine came first in class again! congratulations! she got 96!"
before i even processed that, i was being wildly punched by my friend, and then by basically all my friends in the class. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz T_T
ok, so i'm lame.
BUT SERIOUSLY, i still can't believe i got 96 T_T teachers mark the paper too nicely already! ><" ok, so i didn't exactly make any careless mistakes at all (yay, silent cheer for myself)
but then there are such things as "error carried forward" (ie when i did this question first part wrongly and used that answer for the second part, although i got wrong answer for the second part i still got all the marks for the second part because my method was all right and the teachers don't penalise someone twice for making a mistake. SOMETHING like that)
and then for the irritating, tedious, ONLY 3 mark stupid algebraic trig question, i actually got 2 out of the 3 marks. i'm like... err... i didn't even solve halfway yet. (when i got home, i actually solved it, and beat myself all up because i kind of gave up during the test ><") but then supposedly the teachers gave 1 mark for correctly identifying the largest angle (zzzz T_T) and then the other mark for my initial correct expansion and simplification. SOMETHING like that.

and and there was this other question where i SHOULD'VE gotten marks taken off but then no one in the grade got even close to getting the answer. and then i was the only one who nearly got the answer, but due to some very subtle wording of the question (leg, not legs. didn't notice ><") didn't get the final answer, but supposedly all the markers agreed that i er.. understood the essence of what i was doing and thus i deserved the marks.
australian teachers too nice already! =P bleah.

here's my merit. gosh, if only mrs young had them written out during lunch or something, i wouldn't be suffering from the bruises i have now. bleah .
so yes, after all that depression and everything. haha. bleah. life is REALLY unexpected sometimes.
and and PANSY MOVED UP TO MY MATHS CLASS! OH YAY YAY YAY!!! =] pro pansy =] SO HAPPY!!
haha
so, i had THEN (last period, maths) happily concluded that today was going to be a nice day.
but alas, there was something waiting for me at home:
sigh. acceptance letter to james ruse. I DO NOT WANT TO GO. WHY ME?! i bet there's at least 200 other applicants, and so WHY CHOOSE ME! T_T at a loss of what to do now.
(by the way, don't be misleaded by the "agricultural" bit. traditionally, james ruse WAS an agricultural high school - still offers agricultural courses - but now, it's THE best school in the whole of NSW)
quoting from wikipedia (so you get an idea of what i got myself into T_T)
"The school is especially noted for its excellent academic prowess and competitiveness, as well as the high percentage of its students entering universities. In recent years it has been the top-performing school in New South Wales in the Higher School Certificate, ranking first in number of merit list mentions for the past twelve consecutive years and having a median UAI of 99.55 among the 173 Year 12 students in 2004. Subsequently, in 2005 and 2006 the median UAI was 99.20. "
sigh. ok, so i have to admit, if i DO transfer to james ruse (cough, like i have a choice here, cough cough) my place at sydney conservatorium of music will be guaranteed (cough again. please pardon my ego)
UAI is university admission index. higher school certificate is the australian equivalent of singapore A lvls. and well, a UAI of 99 and above is GODLY. i don't know much about A lvls, but i can safely say that 99 and above is like.. getting all A1s? because getting a UAI of 99 will easily get you into law at uni and stuff. and you only need a UAI of around 93 or so to study medicine.
so well (cough again) IF i were to go to james ruse, and if i managed to float just barely above average even, well.. one could say my whole future is secured. hate to admit, but james ruse does have excellent facilities ><" lovely pianos and practice rooms... ><"

but on the other side of the scale. sigh... there's friends and my sense of belonging and just... i love carlingford high school, i don't care if each year only 1 or 2 students get a UAI of 99 or above... i CAN do it. i WILL come 1st in the grade (sorry, ego yet AGAIN)
WHY is it that every time i've finally settled in i have to change to a freaking new environment AGAIN?! ><"
i love the teachers, i love the school, i love life at carlingford... i'm happily the one and only (now promoted from last year) official accompanist for both choir and senior jazz, and i already know what i want to put on my year 12 jersey (elaineopedia. =P for diana xD sorry sorry, i know i should stop being ego ><")
but like i said, i never had a choice in any of this.
i was just desperately hoping that well, come on, only 10 vacancies, and with half the student population of NSW applying, there was no way that they'd accept me. false hope. T_T
NOW I KNOW WHY JAMES RUSE IS SO FREAKING SMART! cause every year they go around stealing top students from around NSW who aren't already in the school to go to james ruse in the senior years.
rather ironic, really, when i first came to australia that i was so depressed that i couldn't go to james ruse and had to wait til year 10 to apply for year 11 2009.
complete reversal now.
one should really be careful what one wishes for sometimes...

sorry, like i warned, long post.

oh and on a lighter note: WE GOT A NEW CAR! that means, when my dad finally lets me learn driving, i get to prac on the old car =]