it's just too much to sum up
possibly one of the best weekends of my whole life =]

encouraged, inspired, renewed, transformed, enlightened.

it's just so so so amazing! plus, THIS WEEKEND I GOT INVITED TO JOIN ISCF LEADERS IN RUSE! such a HUGE privilege. and here i was dreading the reopening of school on tuesday, but HEY, THERE'S LEADERS MEETING THAT AFTERNOON!!! so yes, i'm looking forward to school now!! ^^

living life FOR God. such a huge change from just last year. from now on, tuesday afternoons there's leader, thursday FOCUS, friday ISCF, sunday church! and it's just so amazing and wonderful and fulfilling to be involved so much =]

anyway.

it's just an indescribable privilege to go to a camp where you see 2000 other teenagers just like you, with a thirst for knowledge on God's word and wanting to know Him better, to be able to live life as He calls us to
the atmosphere during worship and prayer is just awesome and so charged and so so so touching to the very depths of the soul. 2000 voices lifted up in worship, resounding in the whole (lovingly nicknamed) "tin shed", 2000 people unashamedly singing with their hearts, arms lifted, looking up to God. 2000 voices of deep reverence and assent throughout joint prayers, or of a earthshaking rumble of earnest words during open prayer... it really, really is amazing!

and the talks. omigosh, the talks. i've never heard God's word preached so bluntly (or rather, so sharply and cutting)
there is no kind softening of the edges - every word is piercing, but piercingly true. and it's an honour to each and every one of us, to be viewed as mature enough to be told the entire and unchanged truth. my eyes have really been opened to some things that i've chosen to not see, and it was really shocking at first, but then, the truth is shocking. and to hear christians so openly accused, to be... (for lack of better word, i know it is the totally wrong word in this context, but the right word evades me T_T) judged with the wisdom given by God... and to find myself guilty, and the resolution to change, to know that i WILL change, that GOD IS HOLDING ON TO ME!!

hahaha ok none of that made sense ><" Jesus is coming. and we have to prepare, NOW. spread the gospel, and HERALD His word, for when the day of judgement comes, ALL WHO DO NOT BELIEVE will be judged, and found guilty. LIVE LIFE FOR GOD, because what humans view as impt in this life is just absolutely POINTLESS. and guess what? EDUCATION itself can be used against christians. Satan can manipulate it to distance christians from God - how true! for God will grant us all the knowledge we need, and as christian students we study to BRING GLORY TO HIM (i mean, it would leave bad impressions if christian students flunked their classes and everything ><"), NOT for "our futures", because who are we to plan our futures? our plans, not only incomplete, would be in complete futility and completely misguided anyway. thus, FAITH in God to guide us EVERY STEP OF THE WAY is all we need =] and what are exams? a worldly judgement. and so it's NOT ABOUT what the world thinks, NOT ABOUT appearances - so what if i am the most intelligent person on the planet?! so WHAT if i get 100% in exams?! it all means NOTHING before God.

to me, it's a HUGE concept. just this year, i couldn't comprehend at all how the year 12s at my school still were so HEAVILY involved in ISCF even RIGHT BEFORE their exams. i was wondering... how can they not matter? they DO matter to God right? that we do well in our role, that we excel with the gifts He has given us, that we study hard so that we may be of "greater use" to Him... but nothing takes precedence before God Himself. and if studying and homework means that i'm spending more time on schoolwork than God's work, then i'm heading in the wrong direction. slowly i'm grasping this idea, and i know as long as i lean on God, He will hold on to me, and not let me fall =]

i WANT to change. to really really REALLY live for God. re-examine my daily timetable, so that i spend the MOST personal time (excluding time spent at school) on God than ANYTHING ELSE. and hopefully, in a month's time, in a year's time, in 10 years' time, when i look back on this, i will have fulfilled my resolution.

and that means less, MUCH less time on the internet. but i KNOW it's worth it ^^

sidenote: the SONGS were just AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME. and i was so amazed that we were singing some of my ALL TIME FAVOURITES, like "Indescribable". i have never sang so wholeheartedly.

i have victory, yes i do! i have victory... how about you?