3u maths, 3u english, chem, bio, music.

and in term 4, i want to do:
music, extension music, chem, bio, and drop either extension maths or extension english.
inside i'm screaming: drop maths! but the rational part of me starts calculating marks and i know that i do better in maths, which is pathetic, really. T_T really, really, if it came down to it, i'd probably do better in extension 2 maths *gasp of horror. FOUR UNITS OF MATHS?! NO!* than extension music, given my complete lack of musicality/technical ability (love of a subject only accounts for so much) so really, to get the highest possible UAI that i'm capable of, the sensible decision would be to drop music and pick up both extension 2 maths AND extension 2 english and i COULD do it. i guess. ><"

so let's list the pros and cons shall we:

why i SHOULD pick up extension music and drop either ext eng or maths
1. because i want to ('nuff said)
2. because i love music. truly seriously love it like no other subject. it's not even a SUBJECT. music periods are bliss. double music periods are double bliss. and once i do extension music, i'll get TRIPLE MUSIC PERIODS (hopefully. praying that it'll get timetabled that way)
3. just to emphasise. TRIPLE MUSIC PERIODS! what with my frees, that's half my day in school. MUSIC!! =D andandandand, i'll be practicing during my frees. so that's MORE than half my day in school doing music. awesome much? =DDD
4. because i so so so so so want to do music/education degree at sydney conservatorium/university
5. because i can so see myself as a teacher at a primary school who teaches piano after that
6. because, one day, i want to open a music school. bit ambitious, bit ridiculous, but then again, you never know
7. because music is just so awesome!
8. (which is kind of irrelevant) i practice 1 - 2 hours a day anyway, and if i did extension music it'll just be like reperforming/redoing LMus, except for the HSC, which wouldn't be too bad right? =D

why i SHOULD NOT pick up extension music, and pick up ext 2 maths/english instead
1. because i want to. (this requires more explanation on my part i think) i mean, what i want may not necessarily be the best thing. and it's definitely the thing i'm most COMFORTABLE with, and therefore is possibly the most selfish choice i could make. i trust that whatever i do, God will be able to work through me as long as i'm willing, but really, is it putting God first? and do i know that i could work harder to put Him first?
2. because (and this is highly probable) i might end up not getting into the conservatorium. and then with my highly disgusting UAI i will just drop out of uni and go beg on the streets. T_T
3. i'm just not musical. and i'm so so so inferior compared to every other musician in this world
4. who says i won't fail extension music?
5. parents will be unhappy. very very very very unhappy (i'm surprised i put this as 5. it's kind of ranked in importance, so hmm. HAHAHAHA)
6. my UAI will just plummet. plummet. plummet. right now it's sitting quite comfortably at 99.4 and i know that i can easily get it to 99.6 or 99.7 as long as my chem marks are slightly improved (i totally stuffed chem in half yearlies) with no extreme effort on my part. just 2 - 3 hours of work a night =D
7. i DO NOT want music to become a chore. and what if it does. oh woe, what if it does?! T_T i will kill myself (no i won't, but yes, ahhhh T_T)
8. (this is silly, BUT) i will get flamed by woodhouse. he already hates me (i ask too many questions) and if he knows i want to drop to 2 unit maths he will kill me. HE WILL. he will rant and rage and roar and intimidate and i will just be standing there shaking before his anger T_T oh he will scoff and insult and injure and accuse me of being very very very stupid (i agree, in terms of intelligence, anyway) and i wish i could tell him that music > maths. music/0 = infinitely indescribable whereas maths/0 gives you stupid complex numbers. cough ok that did not make any sense whatsoever but whatever. i will probably be the first ruse student ever to have been scheduled to pick up 4u maths but decided to drop to 2u instead. i mean, ppl are scrambling over each other to get into 4u and here i am not only NOT picking up 4u but dropping to 2u.

*shrug* i never belonged anywhere anyway.

God loves me though ^^ and He will show me the way =] for His wisdom is so much greater than anything we could ever dream of...