did absolutely no work today

went to church in the morning (went to adult service, yay =D)
went out for lunch. then spent the whole afternoon in ikea picking out new furniture for the study, table lamps, rugs, bar stools and whatnot for the rumpus in the basement, mirrors for my room and wardrobes and stuff
and then a family friend came over in the arvo and we went over to our new house and then had dinner and only got home at 8pm+

and i just spent the rest of the evening... doing pointless stuff (ok not pointless) like listening to ravel's concerto over and over and over and over and over again

it feels so so so so good to just do nothing and not care and forget about everything for just a short time before it all starts flooding back and i once again have to struggle to stay afloat. i'll probably regret wasting the time but really, seriously... sometimes i just want to, need to escape, and take a breath before i take the plunge into the deep again

and yeah, i agree, it really, really, really really really really really hurts when God says no. but if He says no, who are you to deny it? ><" sigh.