i feel like doing the unthinkable: opening MSN, adding a new contact.

but that would be stupid. and pointless. and selfish. it takes a huge amount of effort to recall why i shouldn't, but perhaps that's just due to my horrid repressed memory these days.

LOTF is morbid enough to be comforting, so i really should go and read it T_T
(currently failing at convincing myself to read it. after reading 8 chapters i have officially been procrastinating reading it although exams are in what? 1 week? 2 weeks? i have no idea. i think... less than 3 weeks T_T)

piano-ing is turning into a struggle of fitting maths around it and other stupid homework and revision, which makes the whole ordeal quite unpleasant. yes, ordeal. i will be sitting at the piano knowing that i cannot look at another inverse trig function without dying, but yet while sitting there i will be worrying about all those stupid maths questions which are due soon. and when i FINALLY forget about maths and relax into the music i realise with horror that an hour or two has passed. urgh.

i just realised my grammar is a huge jumble of mess. sigh.

i'm tempted to just fail HSC and go be a hobo but then i remember what yyk said ><" sorry, and thank you.

life is... so weird. you never, ever know what's going to happen. and sometimes you feel like you can change things, but can you really? sigh...