Dear God,

Thank you for HP'11. Thank you that through it you have once again opened my eyes to the breadth and depth of your love for me, and thank you for all the lessons that you've taught me. Thank you that over the past weekend you've been pruning me, by challenging me and rebuking me and encouraging me through all the conversations and interactions and activities. Thank you for giving me what I didn't even know I needed.

I praise you for your amazing work over the weekend and the glimpses that you have offered of your plans. How great you are, and how perfect your plans are, and how privileged I am, that as insignificant as I am that I was able to witness just how powerfully you work. I thank you for bringing so many non-Christians to houseparty; for not only have you revealed yourself to them and challenged them by your word and your gospel, but I thank you that you have used them to rebuke and challenge those of us who have forgotten the open-mouthed awe and wonder that we once possessed as we began to understand the love you have for us. Even now, I cannot begin to fathom the depth of the love you have for us, but with a heart filled with joy and thankfulness I praise you that you chose to love me even though I never did anything to deserve it.

Father, I thank you for the privilege it has been to serve at houseparty. I remember my anxiety, but I also remember my underlying self-sufficiency. Thank you that despite my sinfulness you were working in me and have blessed me so richly with being able to serve you in this way. I praise you for the genuine love and fellowship that was formed within my group over the weekend. I was so afraid of having to face awkward silences and unresponsiveness, but in your grace you did not test me beyond my maturity and you gave me a group that was so lively... and even as my heart filled with relief and gratitude I saw my own faithlessness and self-centeredness. You've taught me so much about leadership over the past weekend. I think I begin to understand more now what it means to lead through serving, and what self-forgetfulness is. It's opened my heart once more to the enormity of what Jesus did as he served us with complete humility and selflessness - how amazing your love for us is! Thank you for being there in my incompetence. Thank you that when judgmental thoughts came into my mind, you gave me the strength to fight against them. Thank you that as I struggled to love everyone genuinely, your overflowing love grounded me and provided where I was so lacking. 

You must have been laughing at my pride in thinking that I was ready to lead a seminar - I was so stupid and foolish! But you didn't forsake me, and when I found that I was at a loss for words, thank you Father that you were there to carry me through. I thank you that you placed people who were unafraid to ask questions in my seminar group, and that through them you gently corrected and reminded me when I lapsed into jargon or became incomprehensible. Lord, thank you for humbling me and showing me that teaching isn't simply about conveying knowledge, but instead that teaching is where I am in the privileged position to relate to each individual and to address their concerns and questions with the knowledge that you have gifted me with.

And what I can do but praise you for all the fun and friendship at houseparty! I thank you for all these brothers and sisters in Christ that you have given me, and I thank you that as your adopted children we can share our lives so openly and frankly with one another. I thank you that you have placed me within such an amazing community of Christians, who are a constant source of joy and encouragement. Thank you for all the opportunities there were for conversation and confessions; for all the times where we were able to come before you as one in prayer and build one another up in love in you.

Lord, I uplift my group into your hands. You see all their struggles and all their weaknesses, and I pray that you will continually renew their hearts and their minds and guide them to overcome all the obstacles that Satan tries to stumble them with. I know you are holding fast to each and every one of them, and I pray that in those who are filled with uncertainty that you might assure them, that in those who have strayed that you might convict them again of the truth and lead them back to life, and that in those who are earnestly seeking you that you might continue to grow and mature them. I pray for all of them that they will not forget the enormity of your love and your calling on their life, and that they as they grasp the love you have for them more and more that they will love you more and more with each passing day.

I pray for all the non-Christians that have heard your gospel message over this weekend. Thank you that through Vinh your gospel was presented so clearly and faithfully and piercingly. You prepared their hearts to be open to receiving the planting of this seed in them, and I ask that in those you have chosen that you might be nourishing this seed and growing it, that they may come to accept Jesus as their Lord and Saviour and be able to experience the absolute joy it is to know you and so glorify your name.

Finally, Father, I place myself in your hands. I know my own forgetfulness and my sinfulness which leads me away from you and blinds me again to the truth, but I ask that you will continually convict me of what I have learnt this weekend, that I will never forget it. I am helpless on my own and so I plead that you will hold on to me and never let me forget just how great your love is and what it means for my life. I lay myself before you for I know that you love me beyond what I can fathom, and I ask that you take away everything which I am blinded by and idolize, that I might love you with my whole heart and mind and soul. Challenge me and grow me, even as I struggle with my pride and my arrogance and my selfishness, that I might become more and more Christ-like. I know that it might be painful, that it might be hard, that I might rebel against it. But God, I want to use my life to glorify you, and so I pray that in your love and grace that you will show me more and more what that way of life looks like. Give me what I need, for you know best, and not what I want. Father, I thank you for your amazing love that is my unwavering certainty and hope, and I pray that I will never lose sight of it but that as I comprehend the magnitude of it that I will joyfully give up my all to your glory.

In the name of your precious Son,
Amen.